:: cheeky bird ::

A FOUL-mouthed parrot previously owned by a lorry driver has been banished from public areas in a British animal sanctuary after repeatedly embarrassing his keepers.

Barney, a five-year-old Macaw, is now kept indoors at Warwickshire Animal Sanctuary in Nuneaton, central England, when outsiders visit after abusing dignitaries with swearword-littered insults.
"He's told a lady mayoress to f--- off and he told a lady vicar: 'And you can f--- off as well'," sanctuary worker Stacey Clark said.

Nor did the forces of law and order escape, she added.

"Two policemen came to have a look at the centre. He told them: 'And you can f--- off you two w---ers'."

Clark said sanctuary workers believed Barney either picked up the phrases from television or was taught them by his previous owner, a lorry driver who emigrated to Spain.

"He does say 'Hello, big boy' and 'Thank you' when you give him a biscuit," she added.

"But it's mainly naughty words and always to the wrong people. We're trying to teach him not to swear. Macaws are very intelligent birds."

:: Street Parade 13/08 ::

the walls are closing in. staring at the screen all day is giving me headaches. can't concentrate. 9 weeks until freedom.

trying to buy pills for headache, pharmacy is closed between 12 - 13:30. I mean that makes sense, why would anyone use their lunch break to shop?? duh.



on the 13 aug its the zurich street parade - without doubt the best social event in switzerland. about 1,000,000 party people and revellers jam packed into zurich for a blow out party. if i can swing it, i will head to the energy after party with tiesto, van dyke and more on the bill. can't wait, 17 days till that one!

:: athens 14/07 ::

arriving after midnight, we checked in our hotel, only to find it was a dodgy switcheroo job, where you rent a room in one hotel, only to arrive, find its full and get shipped off to their other, not so popular hotel. the guy at the check-in of the dodgy hotel reminded me of that goofy guy with a superman t-shirt from "the goonies". not too concerned as it was only for one night and then we went to meet mina.

met mina in serbia and then we faci'd a conference together in morroco. she and her parents put us up for the next two nights, they really looked after us with great food and even a load of washing! was the first time i have had home cooking in a real long time (other than my own).

when mina picked us up she left us with voni who took us to the acropolis/pantheon and gave us quite a good improtu tour. meeting mina after, we had a good old greek lunch in monistiraki and then wandered the markets. bombed out, we took a late dinner (after 12 when finished chatting) and crashed. sleeping nearly half the day away, we ventured into syntagma square to see the greek soldiers with the funny shoes (i'm sorry, culturally insensitive and all that, but the shoes are damn funny!), wandered through town and then out to a roof top garden party for one of mina's friends - a quiet night, but nice to sit and watch the view.

another late sleep, a great lunch and then on the train to thessaloniki for the last stop of our vacation - 3 days by the pool, 4 star hotel and more awesome food.

lost the days reading, sun baking, riding a fish smelling bus into town, eating squid & salad and the occassional swim.


writing all this back in the office is so depressing, the time has gone so quickly. i am already planning the next trip...

9 weeks of work left, finished in Basel on the 30th September - I will be making my way back to Oz soon after.

:: rome 11/07 ::

early evening arrival to ciampino - another one of these cheap, outskirted airports that ryanair and other el cheapo airlines fly to. we were led onto a coach bus that costs 8 euro to get into town and then told we would be waiting an hour and a half for the bus to leave. grabbing back the cash we somehow ended up on a regular bus which took us to the last metro station on the line and after some stress related to not having exact change we rode the metro to termini and found our hotel room which was nearby.

due to some of the poor conditions of places we stayed, i have felt compelled to write reviews on bootsnall.com. our hotel sucked ass and i actually put my back out bending my head over to try and fit into the toilets - long story short, the toilet/bathroom was built under a staircase.

aching back, map in hand we ventured off to to see the sites. the coloseum was interesting but years of being lied to by hollywood meant I was a bit dissapointed with th reality - i have to admit i was expecting it to be in better condition. walking through the forum was great, laura commented that it would be great if they could put up some sort of holigram to show you what the buildings would have looked like in their prime - i thought this was a smashing idea as you could see the ruins and also get a glimpse of life as it was without destryoing whats left behind.

a lot smaller than i was expecting, we navigated most of the sites quite quickly, although being led on a free tour of the basilica meant we had to venture back a second day to see the sistine chapel, which closes quite early for a multi-million dollar tourist attraction - and i have to be honest, i thought it was just that. many of the works in the vatican museum were in my opinion better than the chapel itself, but these works of art don't really get noticed as you are hearded like cattel through the museum into the chapel and then heared oustide again.

being ripped 30 euro for a piss poor attempt at anti-pasta made me lose my temper - it was just extortion. the rest of the food we found was well priced and really tasty.

did the spanish steps and the fountain and felt even more like the hapless tourist. rome was just too touristy. with more time i am sure i would have been able to get of the beaten track, but then why go to rome if not to see all that touristy stuff? catch 22 really...

funniest was the cafe around the corner where we ate from quite a bit - everytime i walked into the shop he would greet me with "american - boston- massachusetts" even though i told him every time i went i was australian - i think he really wanted to meet someone from boston....

next stop - greece.

:: edinburgh 07/07 ::

a beautiful city, possibly one of my favourites. people were genuine and friendly, the landscape is incredible and the sound of bag pipes really made it a vibrant place to visit. opting for the slacker approach to tourism (we only has the day) we jumped on a tour bus with a guide that informed us that leo's character in titanic wasn't believed by the countrymen he was supposed to be hailing from as no-self respecting brit would hang onto his girl if he actually got her up on the third railing - none of this i'm the king of the world stuff. it would be more likely, "how is it done there? the blue water really agrees with you"

anyhow, we end up at the castle and do the walk around. bomb scare in the evening on a bus and a good portion of the surrounding area is cordened off...

back to glasgow for an early flight next morn to brussels to connect with an evening flight to roma...

:: glasgow 05/07 ::

arriving late evening after some texting with gail, a mate of laura's we were to be staying with, we found out that gail and her dad were waiting at another airport to meet us and so we caught a bus into town and a taxi to gail's place. i was tired and grumpy but the genuine and extremely friendly taxi driver we had quickly changed my mood.

gail had put us up in her room and after a good kip, the next morning laura and i made our way into town where i did some more shopping, fish and chips and then met up with gail and steve for dinner and a pint.

late evening trip to the pub and then back to some dj's place for a small house party. i can't remember getting home, but soon after (2-3 hours) we were on a bus to edinburgh.

:: paris 03/07 ::

another early start with our 08:00 train to paris. met at the airport by elisabeth and jo, 2 dear team mates from my mc term in paris. whisked off to a park with some alumni that I either vaguely new or didn't and then into the student bar to meet julia whom i haven't seen since our last escapades in switz, for 4 euro cocktails - bloody mary's my new drink of choice - am i finally growing up perhaps? perhaps not when after waiting 4 hours at a bar near the barges along the bibliotheque seb finally arrives to drag us out to queen on the champs elysees.

a gay hedonists dream venue, for us (quite possibly the only straight couple in the house), a chance to listen to some really, really old skool kitch tunes and general happy vibe. a combination of being surrounded by many half naked extremely sweaty gents grinding away to kylie and seb's generosity lead to us sitting in the vip bar where you buy a bottle of bacardi 700ml for around 130 or 180 euros i can't remember exactly - anyways a ridiculous amount of cash for what it is, but at least we could sit and chill. a great night let down only by the fact that it was a bit long in the tooth, searching for a car at 07:00 in the pouring rain and arriving back to elisabeth's at some time after 08:00 monday morning meant that we had been up for over 24 hours on our first day of vacation!

crap weather meant it wasn't such a total waste of the day sleeping in and monday evening after a late lunch near lafayette with a bit of shopping, and a great walk along the seine, we met up at my old apartment in boulogne billancourt for dinner and a suprise birthday cake and gift with lena, elisabeth, jo, flo, laure, julia and seb - a lovely way to say goodbye for now to some awesome friends that only distance will come between - until we next meet.

tuesday we had a late sleep in (was the first and certainly not to be the last); took a boat ride down the seine and then headed to the airport to make our way to glasgow.

:: spa 02/07 ::

hopefully the last b/day that I get up before 7am. on the bike off to get the car.

ordered a vw golf and instead received a skoda station wagon - not great to drive.

lovely drive through the switz country-side and slightly skewwed directions from mappy.com aside we arrived at victoria-jungfrau hotel spa resort. an amazing indoor pool; a gym with equipment that would have been better suited for Bruce Willis and co in the fitness test scene in Armageddon; a water walkway that leads you outside of the complex into a salt water jacuzzi about 4x4 mtrs surrounded by the mountains of the alps.

treatments facial and bodywrap - for far too long have women kept such treats to themselves - never have I been so relaxed; a rainforest tropical shower, a moveable bed that sculpts to your body shape, coloured mood lighting and being totally pampered. worth every penny.

finished the day with a late take out dinner in bed, watching live 8 and packing for our long awaited vacation.

:: charleroi ::

internet cafe with french keyboard, excuse coming mistakes..

spa in interlaken saturday 2nd was incredible, so relaxing...amazing salt water jacuzzi in the sunshine, then private treatments - remind me to tell you about the tropical rain forest mist...

then train to Paris for 3 days of catching up with friends and dodging bad weather - it seems Laura brought the weather with her...ended up at Queen nite club for an all nighter of kitch tunes and sweaty men - Laura actually enjoyed it, although made me suffer for the sleep deprevation...

glasgow - yes it rained but it was actually quite pretty, and we had a good time - edinburgh was beautiful, although we succumbed to the tourist trap buses (what can i say, we were too lazy to walk around)

dublin not great - particularly accomodation - the poxy hotel REGENCY HOTEL - do NOT go there - made us wait for hours to check in, sitting unshowered and dog tired in the foyer before charging for a glasss of water; the BREWERY HOSTEL - do NOT bother with this one, who also made us wait hours to check in and staffed by kiwi's fresh off the boat who had no idea of the town or any relevant instruction - oh and after taking bookings with visa demanded cash on arrival - poxy poxy poxy.... but the guiness tour is not hallf bad - oh and rando,ly meet up with Taco (Marty) out on the town with the WENA MCPs - random...

time about to expire, all for now from belgium in transit, brett and laura

:: arrival ::

latest word is laura caught another flight to zurich via frankfurt so she should be in basel in the next few hours...

cannot wait! vacation time so overdue...