: : Disheartened part 2 - life lessons : :
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
I posted (tried to post) yesterday about the humbling experience that was going to my group meeting (Global Marketing Support - was originally called the Marketing Support team, but the acronym M.S.T was not favoured by those with even the most remote amount of French language under their belt - it is the French acronym for STDs!).
So I had a posting here that I just went back, read and deleted (I wish I was a free spirit who can just post at will with great abandon, but unfortuantely I need to check that I got my story right and clear enough and in this case I didn't.)
Now what will follow will not be all that clear either except to say, life has blessed me with another great smack in the face and rather than bitch about it and get depressed I will offer up the following as my life lessons, however lacking in eloquence it may come across:
I do not say "Well, fuck it then" enough. I think this is an expression greatly undervalued as it the cleansing power it can have. In just three words it expresses the hurt, maybe humilation, th epain or even just the crisis of the minute. It also says, life is like that sometimes, lets not dilly dally around it, what has happened really sucks arse. No denying that. Finally it also says, lets not piss and moan about it any longer. Time to accept what has happened however bad, put it behind us and move on.
So to what has happened, I say, well fuck it then. Now lets move on.
So as to moving on, I have a few instruments that I use for this. They are in no particular order:
A4 Notepad, the type with cubes, not lines (explanation for this coming)
My favourite pen
Theme song
My equal
So starting with my equal - I need to talk to get feedback. I need to talk to sort out my thoughts and understand events as they have transpired. I need to talk to hear how ridiculous I am being. I need to talk to listen to myself. I need to talk. Laura (gf) is all this and more. If I need to talk out my thoughts and come up with a game plan, or need a sympathetic ear or some ego fluffing she is the one I call. I cannot say thanks enough for being there for me yet again baby - I love you!
SO the notepad - the type with squares. I need to get my thoughts on paper and draw links between what has happened and what will come next. Its a visual thing I know, but the squares give me an open framework everytime to plot different links in the A4 picture that is my life. Its also good to doodle ;P but in all seriousness I have this huge pad at my side now every minute of the day to take note of everything whether its my next job task or plotting my career path - I cannot recommend the good ole fashioned paper notepad! Blogging helps me share what is going on in my life, but trusty notepad lets me join dots for myself first.
Favourite pen - see notepad.
Theme song - bit corny but I have a shocking memory. Writing stuff down in my pad helps me track my thoughts, my song takes me back to the mood or feeling I had when I wrote it down. At the moment, Radiohead, Kid A - Everything in its right place is helping me get it sorted.
So I leave you now as I go into a meeting with my boss to see what happens next for me, I take my big pad, Thom's voice in my head and a smirk on my face knowing that I have already affected the next chapter of my life, before my boss even decides what happens next.
Cheers, B.
